i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
