If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
