Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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