His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
