the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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