You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
