also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
