I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
