I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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