its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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