Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
