How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
