U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
