You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
