I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
