Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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