she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize