More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
