I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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