Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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