I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
