You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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