So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
