We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
