I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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