i need an iv and a liver transplant
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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