she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
