I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
