you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
