his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
