Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
