Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
