Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
