Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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