he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
