i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize