i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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