maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
