A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
