you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
