oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
