TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Pants are for mortals
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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