Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have post one night stand depression
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