Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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