There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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