a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
