My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
