so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
