i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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