I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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