I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
