marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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