This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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