i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
