Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
