Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
