i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
