Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
