But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
