the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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