I wanna bring you to show and tell
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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