Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
