If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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