Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
