Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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