He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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